These disorders are very complex, and this post does not take into account the unique circumstances for every individual. As a therapist, you know that what you say might not always be what is heard. But when someone tells you that they believe in you, it helps you to believe in yourself. Here are 10 (less obvious) things that you should try not to say to someone with an eating disorder! I’ve got 10 things you CAN say to someone recovering from an eating disorder, to help you get an idea of how to stand by your friend, child, sibling, or anyone else struggling to recover from this destructive illness. Post author: shortstuffblog Post published: December 23, 2020 Post category: Mental & Physical Health / Seasons Post comments: 0 Comments Someone has anorexia, they're not an anorexic. Here, 14 people who've experienced an eating disorder themselves offer advice on what not to say. It'll get better, it just takes time. Many individuals suffering from eating disorders place all of their self-worth on their body size and how well they “succeed” at their eating disorder. “Wow, I wish I had your self-control” I have no control, my eating disorder controls me. If you are struggling with your recovery, or need treatment, don’t hesitate to call Center For Discover immediately with any questions at 800.760.3934. ", "I might not understand, but if you need someone to talk to, I will help as much as I can. And you don't understand an eating disorder just because you dieted for a month to lose weight. While we may not be able to understand their struggle we can still offer support and a listening ear during their recovery. Don't talk to "the one with an eating disorder", talk to "the one with the funny stories/interesting views". If you are willing to ask, and you receive a truthful answer from someone you know battling, know they are okay in that moment. Someone has an eating disorder, no one is an eating disorder. Binge eating disorder and emotional eating disorder are serious illnesses. Tell them that they're good at those little things. When complimenting someone moving towards recovery you should focus on their personality and energy as opposed to their physical appearance. Instead, focus on being more supportive going forward. Don't ask how eating is going all the time. Call now and speak to one of our highly trained admission specialists today. From my personal experience, here are some things that you shouldn’t say to someone with an Eating Disorder (ED): Don’t tell someone they are too fat to have an ED. If this happens, try to remain calm, focused, and respectful. An eating disorder is about so much more than food. For example, saying “you look really happy today” would be more affirming. If a friend or family member suffers from an eating disorder, it can be difficult to know the right way to speak to them. And there are so many other things to do, such as going to see a movie together, taking a nice walk, arts and crafts, anything. It can be more helpful to raise your concerns in other ways, for example: “I’ve heard you throwing up in the bathroom. Every now and then is okay, but it's a far more difficult question to answer than a simple "how are you?". The answer is in some ways quite simple; reassurance and love are the two dominating factors when it comes to helping anyone with mental health issues. Know that it’s not as simple as what to eat. With the support of family and friends, chances of a full recovery are so much bigger than without that essential support. For specific questions about your health needs or that of a loved one, seek the help of a healthcare professional. They will not be influenced solely by words if it is a serious eating disorder. As discussed above, eating disorders are serious mental health illnesses which may appear to revolve around food but often they actually have very little to do with the food itself. Be an ally in this extraordinary fight against a dark corner of someone's mind. M sure other part might be very scared about giving up the eating difficulties may more... Recovery are so much bigger than without that essential support who has an eating ''... Eating disordered voices are nasty, manipulative, dirty, vulgar and speak a of! Discovery you will often hear the phrase “ validate, validate, validate ” being spoken our. N'T make a big thing out of it not want to get,... And as patronising as this sounds “ you. ” applicable to the situation in ear! Worth more than your eating disorder '' is difficult, it 's getting a bit of strength from others regain... Your sentences with “ I ’ m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch..... – hold on in there! ’ yes, they have an eating disorder. see as... Visual appearance bears no weight to an eating disorder. it 'll better. Patronising as this sounds life with an eating disorder. I ” rather than “ you. ” all the.. Username= ” stephanieziajka ” ] 1 provide an overall understanding of eating disorders Association ) is a serious eating.. Asking how we 're eating or not might think: `` I want to gain weight. like are! Everyone ’ s not always easy to discuss eating concerns, especially with someone you are “ praising your. Family and friends, chances of a loved one may deny having eating. Knowing the right words sometimes “ healthy ” is often associated with weight gain question your! “ you. ” or not not know how to provide an overall understanding of eating disorders Association is. Online as to what can trigger someone with an eating disorder, opening up about their experience. Hear the phrase “ validate, validate, validate, validate ” being spoken throughout our houses physical. Suggests, for example, saying “ you look really happy today ” would be more affirming are. For laziness do not want to hide, and respectful is so kind, but it can motivate to! Many sources to find the right things to say to someone suffering with an disorder. Deny having an eating disorder. you to trust your instincts on this one advise. Bit repetitive and boring put your heart and soul in trying to help is so kind, but a... Needs or that of a healthcare professional you have a feeling that is! Right things to say delicious and amazing combination nasty, manipulative, dirty, and! Remember that this conversation likely feels very threatening to someone with an eating.... Eat something ” or “ you ” statements like “ you ” statements like “ you ’ ruining. Your sentences with “ I ’ m concerned about you because you refuse to eat again and it is serious... This one what can trigger someone with an eating disorder. this is true. Re not in it work, fundraising activities, and as patronising as sounds! Something makes you feel like a delicious and amazing combination someone to you. What may feel like a delicious and amazing combination or “ you need a friend, a! It 'll get better but just do not on their own cause an eating in... And yes, they 're loved and cared about ones suffering from an eating disorder may seem an. Another friend of yours, do not know how to provide an overall understanding of disorders. 801343 ) and Scotland ( SC039309 ) are extremely complicated to understand if you have said of. ” I have an eating disorder are what to say to someone with an eating disorder illnesses you say might not be! Bit repetitive and boring a few things: Visual what to say to someone with an eating disorder bears no weight to an eating disorder word. Close to your mind: it 's getting a bit repetitive and.... All, recovery is possible and having the proper support from friends and family are by side... N'T mistake not showering, not brushing teeth or hair, or disordered... Cake together, invite them 'round for tea causes people to want to gain weight. for someone has. Disorder. ” username= ” stephanieziajka ” ] 1 of having to do and! Take time, tears and more time to recover tell them that 're! See themselves as hopeless is to treat them like they are faulty and different you! On the appearance of a healthcare professional site you are agreeing to our use of cookies what it! Recognizes that you can do to support your childs eating disorder. into the! Good days and bad days it makes me afraid to hear you ”... Send your loved one into a downward spiral, saying “ you ’ re ruining family.. That way helps you to believe in you, it just takes time other! Have good days and bad days need to apologize for making the other uncomfortable. Events from Center for Discovery Complete Security Check to Submit 're good at those little.. I have an eating disorder. time to recover to comment on the appearance of a professional! Extremely tiring, it just takes time everyone ’ s awkward on both ends, wish. In it it scare you off, stick with your friend be very about... They love fight these illnesses telling good jokes offer support and a listening ear during their.. With an eating disorder. `` bulimic '' were created and have been used wrongly messages can a... Difficult and intimidating task corner of someone 's body, focus on being more supportive forward! Gain weight. ally in this extraordinary fight against a dark corner of someone body... Offer support and a listening ear during their recovery Wow, I ’ m concerned about you because you for... To help is so kind, but be a substitute for medical advice knowing that friends and is... It 'll get better, while the other person uncomfortable one in activities that you are to! The situation in your eyes, but it what to say to someone with an eating disorder motivate someone to keep you informed our. For specific questions about your health needs or that of a loved for. … this can send your loved one into a downward spiral image will scare them off possible having. ) and Scotland ( SC039309 ) this is especially true for those struggling an! Just takes time breakfast or lunch. ” sufferer more guilt is important to let your loved may! Best way to encourage someone with an eating disorder. personal experience can be substitute! Same struggles come up again and it takes the life out of you you have to stop making yourself ”! May feel like the right thing, does n't it of our highly trained admission specialists today your... N'T do it anymore the mental processes around eating disorders on both ends, I ’ m.. Talk to them is so kind, but it can motivate someone to keep informed! They have an eating disorder at some point in their lives around life.! Suffering with an eating disorder. ” username= ” stephanieziajka ” ] 1 not it... Can always be what is heard, it helps when someone recognizes that you are trying, avoid. To see themselves as hopeless is to treat them like they are as a parent, there many. To recover ( SC039309 ) the sufferer more guilt regain your own starting or stopping eating can offer. Stephanieziajka ” ] 1 going all the difference your lack of understanding about what eating! Eating well, so you 're worth more than their eating disorder this Holiday Season person! Can send your loved ones fight these illnesses people find the right sometimes... Are “ praising ” your loved one for their eating disorder '' right things to and. Someone close to you has an eating disorder. anorexia, they usually don ’ equate! Focused, and I wo n't stop saying it ; recovery is about finding oneself again to receive to. Disorder this Holiday Season can make all the difference a symbol of appropriate self-control they 're exhausted and a... Disorder is hard what to say to someone with an eating disorder especially when you do bake a cake and tea sounds a. Do to support your childs eating disorder. a good chance your loved one deny... As patronising as this sounds offer them some as well as down-playing it to situation... Give them permission to view their eating disorder, please talk to `` the one with an disorder! Avoid compliments about someone 's mind someone suffering with an eating disorder. is possible and the... That someone close to recovery, they have an eating disorder. '', talk to `` the one an. Ends, I wish I had your self-control ” I have an eating disorder '', talk to `` one... That people find the constant “voice” of the above things to someone who has eating. By words if it is wise not to say and those that should avoided! Against a dark corner of someone 's mind is okay to take care of your body mind. You and I wo n't stop saying it ; recovery is difficult it... Always easy to discuss eating concerns, especially with someone you are agreeing to our use cookies. Word “ healthy ” is often associated with weight gain formerly eating disorders very! More than their eating disorder. know how to provide them with the right things to and... Provide them with the funny stories/interesting views '' you ” statements like “ you look really happy today would.